Life

Dealing With Disappointment

Hey how’s things?  Are you getting back into the groove or does it all feel like an uphill struggle?

I sincerely hope it’s the former for you but if it’s the latter I’m praying for peace and the strength to move forward with new hope.

I mentioned in my post from earlier in the week about my disappointment in not securing one of the permanent positions at The White Company.  It had such a profound effect on me, much more than I would have imagined, but that’s not to say that the whole thing was a negative experience.

To start with it took much longer to find out about the job than I thought it would.  We were all expecting to hear on New Years Eve, but apparently they had such a hard time coming to final decisions because the calibre of seasonal staff had been so high and there were only a few jobs for a lot of people that wanted them.  Eventually we heard on the Tuesday and by which time I was feeling nervous anyway.  As soon as I heard the managers voice I could tell it wasn’t the news I had been hoping for.  My heart sank and I struggled to be able to keep the tears back.

At this point I must say that the manager was so lovely and kind and asked me to stay in touch and said they loved having me there.  Mr H and my daughter were both with me and my daughter was so sweet and kind putting her arms around me and rubbing my arm.  I was so upset though I had to be on my own.  When I got to my bedroom I broke my heart.  If your thinking this all sounds a bit over the top for a job, I get that, but for whatever reason that’s how it made me feel.  Working there made me feel really alive and useful (not that being a mum and all the other roles in my life don’t, but doing something different made me realise there is so much more I can do and be good at).

Now that I’ve explained what happened I want to talk to you about the process that I went through from that point on, which I believe is the most important part of the experience. While I was crying thoughts like you weren’t any good anyway,  no wonder they didn’t want you the other staff were much better than  you and all sorts of other negative rubbish.  In the smallest of whispers, in between being bombarded with the lies, I also heard positive thoughts like, I was good at the job, I did really well while I was there, they did like me and just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean the sky is falling down.  It was a real struggle to believe any of the positive as my emotions felt raw and I was wounded.

The battle in my mind continued for a few days but as each day past it started to feel like I was winning.  I had to constantly reign in my thoughts and choose to believe the right ones. When we are struggling with something that really matters to us, whatever that may be, we have to be proactive to come out on top as it were.  If we allow whatever comes into our head to run riot, we lose focus and start to believe it.  That’s how I used to be, just believing anything negative that fell into my head or that someone had said to me.  We have a choice as to what we let in and what we don’t, to decide what we allow to grow in our minds.

Going ‘through’ this process is so important. Denying how we feel and trying to ignore the feelings may seem easier at the time but it has a habit of coming back to bite us, and tends to be more painful than if we had dealt with it at the time.  There are obviously varying degrees of disappointment/hurt and different people/situations take varying degrees of time and strength to deal with, but it’s a really healthy way to process.

So from the Tuesday when I got the news to the following week there was a massive shift in the way I was thinking.  Instead of looking at the down side to it,  I started thinking about what could be next.  As one of my friends said, if I enjoyed that so much, how much better will the next thing be?!  At the moment I have no idea what that/they could be but I am open.

I hope you have found this helpful.  If you have any questions or want to make a point please get in touch and remember to come back and have a look as I always answer your comments.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Much Love

Kate x

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14 Comments

  • Reply Gilly Thomas January 13, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    A brilliant response to a really disappointing situation Kate. You are a winner. Thank you for sharing your heart. x

    • Reply Kate January 15, 2017 at 6:47 pm

      Thank you beautiful lady xx

  • Reply Lesley Smith January 13, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Beautifully explained Kate. It’s not an easy process to go through but it’s definitely worth it, from what we gain when we overcome and win the battle by refusing to accept and believe the negative thoughts rooted in past experiences and criticism. I believe you will find as I did, what comes next is even more of what makes you come alive. You have left a wonderful impact and lasting impression of Love, fun and value for people. There are other people waiting to receive those things from you, be delighted for those who have yet to get the “Kate Experience” lol. Lots of Love, Lesley x

    • Reply Kate January 15, 2017 at 7:04 pm

      Ha ha Lesley! I wouldn’t have missed the experience for anything. I absolutely loved it xx

  • Reply Anonymous January 13, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    I love hearing your thoughts. You write beautifully. Thank you. Love to you and your family xxxx

    • Reply Kate January 15, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      Thank you so much xx

  • Reply Shell January 13, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Hi Kate thanks for the post. I knew you were really gutted about not getting a job at the White Company and can totally understand how you must have felt. When I was called in for my review last Friday I too knew it wasn’t good news, as Mike the Manager said, “I hate doing this Shelley” so I knew what was coming wasn’t good, but wasn’t prepared for the reasons which were totally fabricated so that they would have an excuse to not keep me on after my probation period. I was gutted I hadn’t been successful, but mine wasn’t a Christmas job, as he had picked me out of about 25 people for the 8 hour post. I had to hold back the tears as I was so annoyed that he could lie about me like that. I told him that I hadnt just come off the banana boat and the reason was because they had picked the young girl, who I really liked.
    I had so enjoyed my job and a couple of customers had said that it showed because of the attention I had given them, and yet he said that my customer contact was not up to scratch!!. I came out of there shell shocked, not because I had lost my job so much as the fact that there had been no integrity or honesty. I had to put it all into perspective straightaway and pray really hard to keep on an even keel as I wasn’t going to let it get me down as I thought like you, obviously I wasn’t good enough, they didn’t like me, and all sorts of negative stuff. I knew the truth Kate and that’s what mattered most, and whether they liked me or not wasn’t a problem as our God thinks we are pretty special. At the end of the day it’s just about people’s opinions isn’t it. That’s why I love the prayer, Lord help me to have the courage to change the things I can, accept the things I can’t, but the wisdom to know the difference. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about people’s opinions anymore, as you can’t often change them. They will think what they want, but at the same time we know the truth. We don’t always get things right, we aren’t perfect, but thankfully God loves us and has that plan for us, it’s just knowing what it is. I don’t think we spend enough time listening most of the time, and that is my new plan for 2017! It will be hard because as you know I am a talker rather than a listener, but with Gods help I’m sure I will get there and so will you. I pray that we both hear from our Lord about what he wants from us. Maybe not even to work, but to spend more time with Him. God bless you love . X

    • Reply Kate January 15, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      Thank you for your response Shelley. Things really don’t always work out the way we hope but we do know that God is in all things and that He is good. It’s such a comfort isn’t it? Xx

  • Reply Anonymous January 14, 2017 at 8:29 am

    This is so good to read – thanks for being so honest and explaining the process so well! We can reign in our thoughts ❤ ✨💪🏼 Love you Mrs H.x

    • Reply Kate January 15, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      Thank you 😘

  • Reply Anonymous January 14, 2017 at 9:41 am

    Hi Kate, lovely post.. You’ve really touched the point. I was feeling the same when I was in the same position- the feeling of not good at anything, I’m rubbish- there are lots of negative thoughts 💭, but we have to listen to that small voice that there is something bigger and better out there..
    Kate I’m praying for you and Lord is with you always my wonderful friend.
    God bless..
    Love Manesha xx

    • Reply Kate January 15, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      Thank you so much Manesha. I’m pleased you liked the blog too xxx

  • Reply Anonymous January 15, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    This really spoke to me – “When we are struggling with something that really matters to us, whatever that may be, we have to be proactive to come out on top as it were. ”
    I have struggling with physical pain for nearly 2 weeks, been to doctors and took medication which made me really sleepy and could hardly do anything – except think. And that’s where the enemy’s lies gradually took dominance. So today despite not feeling like it I went to church and met God and realised what the liar had been up to….. Including the lie that there’s no point in me living anymore. God reminded me what His purpose is for this phase of my life, so I have arranged things in line with God’s will for each day this week.
    I also received prayer for physical healing and am choosing to believe God is also going to make me whole.
    Thank you for reminding me to be proactive to come out on top.
    Much love and thanks xx

    • Reply Kate January 16, 2017 at 7:07 pm

      I am so happy to hear that this helped you. This is so what this blog is about. To reach people and bring positive from what’s happening, especially in that breeding ground of our mind. God is so good! Much love to you xx

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